I think I've finally hit the age where I realize I'm not doing something right. I don't know, maybe it's because of the lack of friend contact and the lack of making new friends because you're currently going to a community college, or maybe it's the fact that people around you are pursuing their dreams, getting married, or even doing something meaningful with their lives while I have been stuck on autopilot since the beginning of the semester, wondering when and if we are going to move, going to college, pretending to pay attention, then go home to play video games the rest of the night with that same one person you don't really like, but play with anyway because no one else plays that game. I've managed to lose all motivation for a lot of things too. I can't draw digitally because it is somehow straining to get an idea what to put on a screen, and if I do, do I have enough motivation to finish it? I mean I've been able to draw on paper but that's only because of my art class. I've started eating less because I honestly don't really do much to burn off the calories, I've been losing sleep just because I don't want to lay down often, hell I've even lost a lot of motivation for video games. I can't make decisions by myself, I'm too overly attached to things, I feel I'm going to be living with my parents in the future as a college drop-out, and just fuck everything up. Fucking hell I need motivation. Nothing is really worth motivating for anymore. Maybe I just need to do something new. See new places, get another job, hell I want to go camping. I don't know. I guess I'm in between because I want to do all these impossible things and I have no motivation so I don't. Give me ideas. What helps you to motivate yourself, reader? Like what the fuck do you do in these situations because I've been on this mental state for months now and I should change that.